It appears there is never a bad time to have sex, be it in the morning, afternoon or night, and being one of the most pleasurable obligations in marriage, couples have had sex at such times some people may consider ‘ungodly.’
Inasmuch as sex has no definite time or venue before it can be enjoyed, findings by some scientists have shown that men want it in the morning, while women want it at night.
The question then is, why is it that men want sex and are good to go first thing in the morning while women often want to get in the mood late in the evening?
In justifying their findings, the scientists attributed men’s early morning desire to two things – hormones and because sex could make a day better. The result of the study was published in mirror.co.uk.
It is no news that men usually wake in the morning with an erection, feeling amorous, which is occasioned by the testosterone hormone in their body, and since a hard-on is also instrumental to sex, that pleasurable act may just be lurking in their thoughts.
The study noted that a man’s level of sex hormones is at the highest when he wakes up while a woman’s is at the lowest. Notably, higher testosterone levels equals higher sex drive. Even though both men and women have testosterone, it is more present in men, known as the sex drive or male hormone.
One of the researchers, Ashley Grossman, a professor of neuroendocrinology at St Bartholomew’s Hospital, London, said even before a man opens his eyes in the morning, his level of testosterone is at its peak – between 25 per cent and 50 per cent – more than at any other time of the day.
He explained that the pituitary gland in a man’s brain – which governs the production of the male sex hormone – has been switched on in the night and its levels have been rising steadily until dawn.
Hence, low testosterone levels can be linked to a lack of sleep because good sleep boosts the level of the testosterone hormone in a man’s body, which can often cause an erection and a tendency to make the men more aggressive in pursuing sex.
“Women also make testosterone – the main sex drive hormone – but produce a fraction of the amount and it rises by only a tiny bit overnight, and it is also kept in balance by oestrogen and progesterone.
“Men need only a normal amount of testosterone to feel like having sex, and the raised levels in the morning means most men will wake with erections, which informs part of the reasons they want sex in the morning.
“Studies found that the longer and deeper a man has slept, the higher his testosterone levels and research in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows getting more than five hours’ sleep can raise the hormone levels by an extra 15 per cent,” Grossman said.
While contributing to the study, a consultant gynaecologist based in Birmingham, Gabrielle Downey, said male and female testosterone levels are at their highest at opposite ends of the day, so they are out of synch.
She said that while the hormones secreted during men’s sleep at night trigger their sex-in-the-morning disposition, it takes more than hormones for women to be in the mood for sex. She noted that some studies have shown that a woman’s testosterone levels are likely to increase on the anticipation of sex with her partner.
This probably means that whilst at work or closing from work, women who envisage having sex with their partner later in the evening tend to have more testosterone levels, thus, a higher sexual drive.
Therefore, as evening approaches, while a woman’s testosterone level is heading towards its highest point, even if slowly, a man’s is dropping to the lowest level of the day. But regardless of the fact that men’s testosterone levels are now at their lowest, it is interesting to know that they are still more likely to have sex in the evening.
“It’s been said that women need a reason and men just need a place – and I think that’s true because regardless of the low male testosterone, they are still responsive,” says Gabrielle.
Should the sexual act happen eventually, the bonding hormone, oxytocin, is released, prompting men to sleep after the sex. The release of oxytocin after sex aids sleep, which is the reason why men are notorious for falling asleep after making love.
Findings by the scientists showed that women shun sex in the morning because they wake up feeling groggy, not liking the way they look, their awful breath or not having done the usual clean up; they are never really awake enough to enjoy it. However, most men seem not to care about such.
According to a sex and relationship expert, Dr. Tammy Nelson, vasopressin hormone that gives feelings of emotional attachment is also secreted in men during their sleep, and coupled with an erect penis, the man may feel closer and more attached to his significant other in the morning. Her opinion was published in menshealth.com.
“But the groggy woman on the other side of the bed is not as psyched to feel same at sunrise. A morning orgasm can be difficult if not totally elusive for some women because in order to reach full levels of arousal, a woman has to be relaxed about her physical cleanliness.
“That’s tough after hours of sleeping; she hasn’t showered, brushed her teeth, or switched out of her nightgown yet, which triggers stress that prevents her from relaxing enough to enjoy sex.
“Plus, if your partner hasn’t peed yet, the same muscles necessary to stop urinary flow are the muscles that control orgasm, so it may take extra effort to make a woman ready for sex at such times,” she said.
A material on sexwithinmarriage.com points out that any day that starts with sex is almost guaranteed to be a good day because sex decreases stress levels, increases testosterone production, produces natural anti-depressants and a good form of exercise.
“The increased testosterone makes men more aggressive and assertive, making them feel more confident, the decreased stress makes them feel more relaxed and be more productive and the natural anti-depressants make them feel happier, and happier people are more productive.
“If men have sex in the morning, they tend to have one of the best days of their lives, happier and more productive, and the next day, they want to have that experience again,” the report said.
Meanwhile, according to a love network expert, Michele Weiner-Davis, who is the founder of divorcebusting.com, couples should discuss how they would meet their respective needs since the time of their interest varies.
“If a couple have sex twice a week, each of them should be willing to do it once at the time of day when the other is ready. And if they are really exhausted or in a rush when the partner wants it, they can say no, but suggest a better, but not distant time that will work,” she said.
In his reaction to the study, a professor of psychology, Prof. Toba Elegbeleye, said even though other studies conducted in this area attested to the fact that men are more sexually active in the morning than in the evening, the testosterone being secreted overnight may account for the reason why they have erection early in the morning.
He pointed out that it does not also mean that men may not be ready for sex in the evening, as they can have it at anytime, but that they are better refreshed, with good quantity of the sex hormone, unlike in the evening when they would have been stressed as a result of the day’s work.
He said, “Every active male organ comes up in the morning, and with the good quantity of testosterone secreted overnight, they tend to be ready for sex at that time. On the social psychology aspect of it, most men, given the fact that they are usually breadwinners, come back home tired, having gone out to work, which may have taken away all their sexual urges, and they would just want to sleep.
“It doesn’t mean they can’t have it in the evening, in fact, a man seems ready at any time. But talking about desire, interest and convenience, the time they most likely would want to do it is in the morning when their body is settled and refreshed.
“The other side is that women may have been at home for quite a while longer than the men, they could anticipate the arrival of the husband who probably would bring with him some kisses and hugs, and maybe sex because women like to be prepared for sex, unlike men who can have it anywhere.”
Elegbeleye advised that both the man and the woman should find the right time to have sex and submit to their partners as part of marital obligations.