By Oluwole Solanke, PhD, FCIB
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give”— Winston Churchill
The Invisible Ripples
There’s a phenomenon in physics called the butterfly effect—the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil can set off a chain of events that eventually causes a tornado in Texas. It’s a metaphor for how small actions in complex systems can have far-reaching, unpredictable consequences.
Your life operates on the same principle.
Every day, you create ripples. With every word you speak, every action you take, every expression that crosses your face, you send waves of influence outward into the world. Some ripples are small and fade quickly. Others travel farther than you can imagine, touching lives you’ll never know about, in ways you’ll never fully understand.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world” — Anne Frank
You might think your life is ordinary, that you’re just one person among billions, that nothing you do really matters in the grand scheme of things. But that belief is not just wrong—it’s dangerous. Because the moment you believe your life doesn’t matter is the moment you stop trying to make it matter. And that would be a tragedy, not just for you, but for everyone whose life you were meant to touch.
The truth is this: Your life has an impact. The only question is whether that impact will be intentional or accidental, positive or negative, meaningful or meaningless.
The Power of Presence
Before we talk about grand gestures and dramatic acts of service, let’s start with something simpler and more profound: your presence.
Just by existing, by showing up, by being in the room, you affect the people around you.
Think about it: Have you ever walked into a space and immediately felt the energy shift? Maybe someone’s anger fills the air like smoke. Maybe someone’s joy is so contagious it makes you smile before you know why. Maybe someone’s anxiety makes everyone tense. Maybe someone’s peace puts everyone at ease.
“Wherever you go, go with all your heart” — Confucius
That’s presence. And you have it. The question is: What kind of presence are you bringing?
When you enter a room, do people light up or shut down? When you speak, do people lean in or pull back? When you’re around, do people feel safer or more anxious, more valued or more judged, more hopeful or more cynical?
Your presence is your first and most constant form of impact. You don’t have to say a word to influence people. Your energy, your demeanor, your facial expressions—all of it communicates volumes.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” — Maya Angelou
This is why self-awareness is not selfish. Understanding your emotional state and managing it—not suppressing it, but managing it—is an act of service to everyone around you. When you bring your best self into spaces, you make those spaces better for everyone.
The Weight of Words
If presence is your constant impact, words are your precision tools—capable of building up or tearing down, of healing wounds or inflicting them, of opening possibilities or closing doors.
Consider this sobering reality: Someone is carrying a sentence you spoke years ago. You’ve forgotten it. They haven’t.
Maybe it was an encouragement that arrived at exactly the right moment, giving them courage to try something they thought was impossible. Maybe it was a criticism—perhaps not even intended to be harsh—that they’ve repeated to themselves thousands of times, using it as evidence of their inadequacy.
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless” — Mother Teresa
I can trace pivotal moments in my life back to single sentences spoken by people who have no idea they changed my trajectory:
A teacher who said, “You have a gift for this,” when I thought I was failing.
A friend who said, “I believe in you,” when I didn’t believe in myself.
A mentor who said, “Don’t settle,” when I was about to accept less than I deserved.
And I can also remember the wounds:
Someone who said, “You’ll never amount to anything.”
Someone who said, “Who do you think you are?”
Someone who said, “You’re not smart enough for that.”
These weren’t elaborate speeches. They were passing comments, maybe even careless ones. But they lodged in my soul like arrows, and I had to spend years removing them.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” — Proverbs 18:21
This is the terrible and wonderful power you wield every time you open your mouth.
You can:
- Affirm or diminish
- Encourage or discourage
.Include or exclude
- Build up or tear down
- Speak truth or spread lies
- Give hope or instill fear
And here’s what makes it more complex: You rarely know which of your words will stick. The comment you think is insignificant might be the one they remember forever. The encouragement you offer in passing might be the lifeline they desperately needed.
So what do you do with this power?
You become intentional with your words. You speak with awareness. You choose encouragement over criticism, truth over flattery, kindness over cruelty, and when you must correct, you do so with respect and love.
“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” — Rumi
The Actions That Echo
Words are powerful, but actions are louder. What you do—and what you don’t do—shapes the world around you in tangible ways.
The Small Acts That Matter Most
We tend to underestimate the power of small acts of kindness, thinking that only grand gestures make a real difference. But research in psychology consistently shows the opposite: It’s the accumulation of small, consistent kindnesses that has the most profound impact on human wellbeing.
Consider these “small” acts:
- Listening —truly listening, without planning your response—when someone needs to be heard
- Acknowledging someone who is usually invisible: the janitor, the cashier, the delivery person
.Offering help without being asked
- Showing up when it would be easier to stay away
.Remembering details about people’s lives and asking about them
- Celebrating others’ victories as genuinely as your own
- Defending someone who isn’t in the room to defend themselves
- Admitting when you’re wrong and apologizing sincerely
- Keeping your promises, even the small ones
- Expressing gratitude specifically and genuinely
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind” — Jennifer Dukes Lee
These acts seem ordinary, even trivial. But to the person receiving them, they can be extraordinary.
The single mom working three jobs whose day is brightened by your genuine smile and kind word. The teenager struggling with depression who feels seen because you asked h…
