By Ayomide D. Afolabi
This writer once stumbled on some men conversing recently and was shocked at what they were discussing. They were boldly talking about how 99% of men can’t stay loyal to a woman. They were actually using Biblical examples, illustrating their discussion with experiences of great men like: Solomon, David and even Abraham in the Bible.
So, yours truly ask them a question. “How would you feel if you were being cheated on?
Their response was that when a woman cheats, she has either stopped loving her partner or she is a ‘KEPT WOMAN’.
However, when a man cheats, he definitely still love his supposed ‘QUEEN’ (the main girlfriend) and he’s just keeping the other ladies as ‘side chicks’. Who developed that kind of theory? A woman who sleeps around is considered shameful but a man who sleeps around is given THE MEDAL?
Our society is actually a patriarchal one, where if a woman does what men naturally do, it is considered immoral. How could cheating be a man’s nature? For any individual to cheat on his or her partner, it is a total disrespect, disregard and betrayal to the other party. Then why should it be considered natural?
Nowadays, most men cheat shamelessly because the society completely has doubled standards in this regard. In the sense that men can now publicly boast of having several partners but women are shamed for the same reasons. It is annoying to hear people say ‘A man would always be a man, that’s how they’re structured.’ And the question is how are women structured?
According to Dr Shaun Whittaker, a local psychologist, ‘Behavior is not natural or genetically determined, it has to do with the gender roles that people are being socialised into’. The patriarchal role given to men had made them believe they could do anything and go completely free because they are considered ‘The head’. This actually perpetuates the unfairness in a relationship as a man’s need is placed over a woman.
On the one hand, cheating should actually be a woman nature because a woman can get a man anytime she wants and if she wants to have sex. There is always a probability of having two or more men breathing down her neck. On the other hand, the men always have to work for it.In the sense that,they mostly pursue while the women are being pursued. That being said, cheating is not natural for anyone but just a mind set to do so.
To round this off, it is important to know that men are more promiscuous than women, but that does not give credence to buy the cultural/societal fallacy that men are programmed to cheat hook, line and sinker. It is quite an absurd theory, because cheating shouldn’t be a nature.
Ayomide D. Afolabi is of the Lagos State University, Ojo, Lagos