By Adeola Agorov
The Nigerian internet landscape has been ablaze in the last few days with a scandal that tests the boundaries of morality, relationship etiquette and collective sanity.
At the center of the storm is the popular musician, Chike, whose name has been heavily linked as a bedroom mate to the wife of media personality Frank Edoho.
The allegations are jaw-dropping: it is claimed that Chike routinely graced Frank’s matrimonial bed whenever Frank was keeping málice with his now ex-wife, Sandra.
As the bits of what led to the drama keep dropping, it is shockingly bizarre that a massive number of Nigerian women have taken to social media to celebrate Chike as an ’emotional savior’.
The comments sections under various posts of the viral news read like a fans page. Women are hailing this thing so much that it seems to be normal.
Let’s see what some of them had to say, as captured directly from some trending reactions:
Angel Okorie: “My Religion is Chike oh, the only man that understands women, unfortunately he’s just one person.”
Fenni Lapana: “Very sweet boy wey no di keep málice.”
Ja’usman Barry: “Chike deserves his flowers… He even sang with his romance with the lady while Frank was busy fooling himself with málice. He deserves an award.”
Chisom Okoye: “I swear to God… I’m loving this. All men are now crying… Dem think say na only them dey polygamous in nature.”
Osas Ohenhen: “Someone said, málice may last for a whole night but Chike comes in the morning…”
Nchedo Cynthia: “Málice keeper how market nah. Super proud of our boo of the booless.”
This collective applaud paints a scary picture. It seems a section of Nigerian women are going crazy again. They are embracing a severe lack of moral accountability behind the excuse of an emotionally unavailable partner.
Let us call a spade a spade: there is a big difference between sexual satisfaction and true emotional satisfaction.
What Chike provided wasn’t understanding or ‘rescue’, it was what it was – opportunistic access.
Coming into another man’s house to sleep with his wife on his matrimonial bed is the lowest form of behavior. It lacks honor, respect and basic human decency.
One thing I know is that with such matters is that history will always repeats itself. Men who do such things won’t stop with one woman.
Shebi Chike eventually discarded her. That’s how players always do with women who lack boundaries.
And those women cheering this behavior need a reality check: a man who climbs into a married woman’s bed under the guise of ‘comforting’ her looks down on her. As soon as he is bored, he will discard her and go in search of the next mumu (fool) willing to throw away her dignity for a fleeting moment of revenge or pleasure.
I’m seriously upsét that the social medua generation has mischaracterized málice as the ultimate relationship sin, using it to justify adultery.
But what exactly is màlice? In a relationship context, it is often a period of emotional withdrawal or silence.
While toxic, prolonged stonewalling is unhealthy, a temporary period of silence is frequently necessary. It is used to make a partner reset their brain, not to make things worse.
Silence can be a tool to process anger, prevent escalating arguments and allow tempers to cool so that bigger issues can be addressed constructively. It gives room for introspection, helping couples grow better and stronger.
However, men must also learn the art of emotional maturity. A man must know when to end the silence.
Prolonged, stubborn màlice leaves a vacuum and while it never justifies infidelity, ending málice timely ensures that room is given for actual growth rather than resentment.
Above all, this saga highlights the profound definition of compatibility.
True compatibility does not mean you will never fíght or have moments where you aren’t speaking. When you are genuinely compatible, you might be keeping a bit of màlice or observing a period of silence, but the foundation of the home remains unshaken.
You can still sleep on the same bed, you can still make love, you can help each other with chores and you can even drive in the same car to work together until you finally start talking again.
That is real life. That is maturity. That is compatibility. It understands that human emotions are fluid, but commitment is solid.
Adultery is never an emotional substitute for a rough patch in a marriage. A woman is free to leave when she can’t take the heat anymore. But do not stay while enjoying another man’s cane. Remember I said so.
Adeola writes from Abuja, where she does a bit of màlice and silence, all in a bid to make things work better.
