By Adeola Agoro
The sleek private jet, a Bombardier Challenger 604, taxied out smoothly on Thursday afternoon in Abuja, clearance was locked in for Lagos.
The twin turbofans roared to life and within moments, the jet sliced into the hazy Abuja skyline.
High-net-worth passengers and their companions clicked their seatbelts shut, reclined into plush leather and settled in for a routine cruise at 30,000 feet.
Then, around 3,000 feet into the climb, the aircraft decided to shed some unapproved excess baggage.
In a heartbeat that must have chilled the marrow of everyone on board, the cabin entrance door simply detached mid-flight.
The aircraft kept climbing, but the door chose not to follow. It had its plans. And so, it started its own rapid descent toward whoever happened to be below the sky.
At 4:20 p.m., the cockpit radio crackled with raw adrenaline as the crew made the emergency call to air traffic control: the main entrance door had dropped into thin air.
Displaying nerves of steel, the flight crew executed an immediate turnback, wrestling the depressurized jet back onto the Abuja runway for a textbook emergency landing and averting what easily could have been an unspeakable catastrophe.
Meanwhile, miles below, an unsuspecting farmer tending his crops received a delivery straight from the clouds.
It wasn’t biblical manna.
It wasn’t hail.
It certainly wasn’t an afternoon sprinkle for the cassava.
It was a multi-million-naira aircraft door planting itself nose-first into the soil.
The Yoruba will say, “Ọlọ́run yọ orí ẹ.” In Pidgin: “Na God save him head.” Imagine an executive jet door dropping from three thousand feet and making contact with human bone. Yeepa!
Since heavy engineering is now descending from the heavens without warning, our daily survival manual needs an immediate field update.
The standard recitation of Psalm 121 is “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved…”
From now on, you better add a quick annex: “And Lord, please do not suffer Boeing or Bombardier components to land on my skull.”
Abi now?
We spent years mastering street wisdom- dodging careless okada and keke riders, maneuvering potholes and praying that commercial cars and buses won’tbreak our mirrors and rear lights.
But with this new aviation development, we have to be more vigilant.
Walking, driving or weeding under an open sky now demands a whole new tactical posture.
Below is a guide to airborne hazard management:
If you thought an umbrella was all you needed, you have now seen that youve been wrong all along. You need to get a concrete helmet
If you’re Nigetian farmer, don’t expect to harvest omly grains or tubers from you farm again, you may have a whole aeroplane to carry away from your farm. And If you see a shadow expanding rapidly over your plot, do not assume it is an a giant bird, take cover first. Inspect what it is later.
They taught us tgolden rule of looking left, looking right and looking left again before crossing the road, now, that needs as adjustment. It is now – look left, look right, look UP.
By the way, the jet is linked to Kola Karim, one of those silent billionaires. He’s the Group Managing Director and CEO of Shoreline Energy International.
My name is Adeola Agoro and I’m hiding in my house and praying hard before going out today. I haven’t bought my helmet yet
